Soulful Journeys Within

Carol Evans, the CEO of Working Mother Media in her book, ‘This Is How We Do It’, shares “Today, as CEO of Working Mother magazine , I'm often asked how we working mothers manage to juggle motherhood and career, life and work, self and job. And I always think of Dr. Wan. (My doctor who delivered my second child; encouraged me through ‘pushing’ when I almost gave up) Because sometimes being a working mother feels overwhelming, and some days we're convinced we just can't do it. We want to yell at someone, "I can't do it!! I want to go home!" And then I see Dr. Wan's smiling face in front of me saying, "But you are doing it!" And I realize that we are. Twenty-six million mothers—more than 72 percent of all moms in the United States today—work full- or part-time. We raise strong and happy kids. We fuel the economy. We earn money that keeps our families safe and secure. And we get a ton accomplished in a day at work. Still, most of us draw a bla...

Three Little Kittens There are three little kittens Living in this house, None of them is bigger than a little grey mouse, But they sound like cattle when they romp down the hall or they run through the house. While chasing a ball These three little kittens Can make so much noise, When they play with the pots and pans As if they were toys. These three little kittens Now nested in my lap, Are so cute and sweet When they finally take a nap. - poem by a budding poet

School has started for our as well your children. These sweethearts bring home more not only brighter smiles and fresh knowledge but also fill up our homes with more paper! I can’t find an empty corner in a week on my refrigerator if I do not treasure my young Picasso’s art work. Are your walls almost wallpapered with that art work? Do you have difficulty finding that important phone number that you posted on your refrigerator last Monday? Wait!!!!! Don’t start looking for a bigger house just yet - I have used couple of quick solutions to solve my display dilemmas that take up very little space and requires very little time out of your busy schedule as well (if done routinely). * Create a simple art portfolio using two pieces of poster board taped together on three sides. Leave the third side/top, open for dropping in artwork as it is received. You can use this same principle for other schoolwork as well. Each day, or week, when your daughter or son brings home her treasured work, ...

“………….but I want to do what I want to do”. The loud voice of ‘once’ sweet son, came from the family room as I asked him to turn the TV off and ‘practice’ that he learns after school and on weekends. I was not only shocked but almost in tears as this was not my same son who religiously followed the evening routine and took everything seriously that he learnt in extra curricular activities, along with his learning at school. Above all that he has been ‘Mama’s helper’ in tutoring his younger sister, passing on all the good stuff that he learnt to his sisters. Like his first-grade teacher still says about him "They don't come in better package than this one". I had no complaints and said prayer of gratitude for these children every morning and before going to bed. But what happened this last week? I don’t know except that I know he is going to celebrate his 12 th birthday in few weeks and he is growing. I think that is what they call adolescence. If I remember it right it is...

Our house is very often visited by relatives who come from out of town and spend two or three weeks with us. Most of them are very nice but it is still an inconvenience to have all of these extra people in your house. Recently, we had a relative come to our house late one evening. It was a young lady. She came about three and a half months ago and is still with us. We are very much inconvenienced with this young lady as her habits are very different from ours. She likes to sleep during the day and at night she keeps us awake to amuse her. We must always keep her in good humor as she becomes cross at the slightest irritation. She has her meals regularly enough but they are not at the same time as ours and this is a big problem. She also doesn't eat what we eat. She has her own special foods. She smiles when in good humor with such a broad and pleasant smile we can't help but smile back at her even though she has disrupted our lives completely. In spite...

Have you ever thought that the ones who gave their head to Guru forever were only ‘five’ and the ones who wrote ‘be-daava’ ( disclaimer) and deserted Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji, were eight times more than five? Why is there any wonder that today more young sikh boys and girls are apostate than rahatvaan? There is again pressing need for Mai Bhago….not just one but Fauj of Mai Bhago to awaken the youth. When Mai Bhago came to know that some Sikhs of her area had deserted Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji at Anandpur Sahib and renounced his guruship in writing. She could not hold herself, as she was zealous to serve the Guru. Boiling with rage, and moved by love for the Guru, she, the great heroine, said to her husband, “Guard up your lions and let us lay down our lives for the Guru who has sacrificed his father, mother and four sons for the Sikh faith. We must not sit idle when innocent lives are being bricked alive.” She was determined to wipe out the badge of infamy from the face of her ar...

Maxed out. Stressed out. Worn out. I am out and out ready for a change. Well, after years of planning, gathering the much needed courage to ‘quit’ I am ready….so I began to clean up the mess of 14 years from my file drawers, reading, deleting and of course ‘saving’ e-mails in archives. Majority of my e-mails consisted of e-mails exchanged with my beloved husband about our munchkins….some are heart-breaking…to recall those mornings when a wailing toddler wouldn’t let go of my leg…those teething days when my child depended more on Tylenol than my warm lap…shuffling between baby-sitters and pre-schools. It made me think hard on ‘why did I continue to work?’ It is hard to pin-point one single reason but I will share my thoughts on it from self-experience as well as gathered from having conversations with different mothers who I worked with over the years. Yes, I enjoyed working, but that is before I was reincarnated as mother of our three children. There are lots of women who hold two full...

To be a Sikh, a follower of teachings of Ten Sikh Gurus which are incorporated in one and only Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, means to do Sewa - care for others selflessly. Sri Guru Nanak Dev ji says (SGGSJ p1342) Selfless service and intuitive awareness come by reflecting upon the Word of the Shabad. Chanting, intensive meditation and austere self-discipline come by subduing the ego. One becomes Jivan-mukta - liberated while yet alive, by listening to the Shabad. Living a truthful way of life, one finds true peace. ||7|| With Guru’s apaar Kirpa ; I possess reasonably good health for my age and the amount of work load I carry on my shoulders. Well some of the health problems just are part of all moms. So I was not spared; after years of living with this problem; I decided to take care of it once and for ever. So I decided to go under the knife this last Friday. The pain was sharp; so sharp that I learnt why it is called ‘pain in the butt’ for excruciating pain. I looked at my face in t...

Do you remember telling you teenage 'No' and loosing the battle? If so, please read the following, this may be another weapon that you can use next time. Good Luck! A father of 3 teenage kids had the rule that they could not attend PG-13 or R rated movies. His teens wanted to see a particular movie that was playing at local theaters. It was rated PG-13. They asked friends & some members of their church to find out what was offensive in the movie. They made a list of pros & cons about the movie to use to convince their dad that they should be allowed to see it. The cons were: it contained 3 swear words, the only violence was a building exploding (& you see that on TV all the time), & you actually didn't "see" the couple in the movie having sex, it was just implied sex, off camera. The pros were: it was a popular movie, a blockbuster. Everyone was seeing it. If they saw the movie then they would not feel left out when their friends discusse...

I didn't know Banni was paying close attention to me one ordinary evening. I did know that nothing slipped past my bright, inquisitive second-grade daughter. Like all mothers, I bragged about my child's brilliance, but once again I was caught off-guard by her insight into adult behavior. From the time I picked my munchkins from after-school day care at 4 pm after my work, that particular Tuesday evening until after our family dinner, she observed me prepare a snack for her , her older sister and brother, comb their hair into beautiful braids and Joora, help them with their homework, cook dinner, wash dishes, and sweep and mop the floor. And I began the daily laundry routine during all these chores. When her dad walked in the door from his day's work, she observed him stretching out on the sofa, checking mail, watching television, eating dinner and retreating to the backyard to play catch with her brother. "Ummm," Banni wondered what was wrong with this picture. In...

Have you ever seen the signs "Dog contained by invisible fence." in the neighborhood and wondered about this incredible invention? I did and found out more about it. The fence company dug a narrow four foot deep trench around the perimeter of dog owner’s yard and bury a small wire. This wire is attached to a control box mounted mostly on garage wall. A dog is then fitted with a collar sporting a special little box with two small prongs that rest against her skin. The dog trainer then places white flags all around the yard, marking where the underground fence was buried. As The Dog nears the flags, she hears a quiet warning sound clicking from the box. If she kept going and crossed over the boundary marked by the flag, she gets a shock and came back. These white flags decorating the perimeter of of dog owner’s yard do not stay forever. So, you might wonder, how does The Dog know where the boundary is? It is simple. For the first week, white flags line the boundary of t...

Young Sikh Girl raises money for Canadian Red Cross Few children make a point of catching the latest edition of World Vision on television. For most kids, the dire circumstances of others their age living without food, water and shelter, and suffering the horrifying effects of AIDS, in the Third-World nations, don't register. But Japnaam Kaur isn't like other children. Since age four or five, she has asked her parents to choose channels that are playing World Vision when they sit down to watch TV. And once the program ends, she always says the same thing: " I want to help them ." With the help of her parents, her school and other children in her neighbourhood, the seven-year-old set up a lemonade stand and recently raised $290 for the Canadian Red Cross. "I wanted to raise money so that those children can have food, and so that not a lot of people will die from AIDS anymore," Japnaam said. But she never imagined that her little lemonade stand, al...

The name of the Parm-Aatma “God” is proclaimed by Guru Nanak Dev ji as WAHEGURU. It is made up of three words – Wahe – wonderful, magnificent, superb, astonishing, fantastic, brilliant, great, breathtaking etc. etc. Gu – darkness, dusk, gloom, night, obscurity, absence of spiritual illumination i.e. spiritual ignorance Ru – light, spiritual illumination, enlightenment So altogether it means “Oh Wonderful God, you are the spiritual enlightener and dispeller of ignorance.

A is for accountability. Hold your children accountable for their behaviour. B is for boundaries. Set specific limits and make clear what the repercussions will be if those limits are exceeded. C is for consistence. Hold to the same principles and practices. D is for discipline. Make the punishment fit the crime. Never discipline the anger. E is for example. Children are in greater need of models than critics. Set a good example. F is for forgiveness. Practice it and teach the importance of forgiving. G is for giving. Teach the joy of giving, not only to family and friends, but to strangers in need. H is for sense of humour. Keep your sense of humour. Promote laughter with your children. I is for imagination. Be creative and play with your children. Make up stories of songs when you read and sing with them. J is for joy. Let your kids know that they are a joy to be with. K is for knowing. Know your children’s friends and their parents as well as their te...

fareedhaa galeeeae chikarr dhoor ghar naal piaarae naehu || chalaa th bhijai ka(n)balee rehaa(n) th thuttai naehu ||24|| bhijo sijo ka(n)balee aleh varaso maehu || jaae milaa thinaa sajanaa thutto naahee naehu ||25|| Fareed, the path is muddy, and the house of my Beloved is so far away. If I go out, my blanket will get soaked, but if I remain at home, then my heart will be broken. ||24|| My blanket is soaked, drenched with the downpour of the Lord's Rain. I am going out to meet my Friend, so that my heart will not be broken. ||25|| Bhai Sahib was reciting this shabad when I entered the Darbar this weekend. Freed Ji’s shabads have always touched my heart. Once I began to read on Freed Ji’s life and could not continue as after each line my eyes welled up with tears. I always thought that the ‘muddy path’ that Freed ji is referring to is the ‘Maya’ in the world, that keeps us from remembering God; but it is much deeper than that. It is the mud in our ears to listen to our own praise a...

Giving is our way of getting by in the world. Many of us think –“if I give; the others will like me. Better yet, they may even come to need me. Then I won't be so alone in the world.” G iving becomes a kind of haggle to belong; a proffer for love, rather than an expression of it. This kind of giving does not allow for egoism of any kind, and yet it is excessively egotistic. Selfishness is vigorous when one knows one’s limits, and sets those limits; meaning prioritizing self-care over caring for others. It insists that you express your feelings, even when it is inconvenient to others. It includes the ability to rest when tired, and to ask for what you want and need, when you want and need it. It is the healthy expression of power. By doing so, we identify the course we take, making it much easier for the blessings of life to come to us.

(our school district prayer) We pray for the children who put chocolate fingers everywhere, who like to be tickled, who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants, who sneak Popsicles before supper, who erase holes in math workbooks, who can never find their shoes. And we pray for those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire, who’ve never squeaked across the floor in new sneakers, who never had crayons to count, who are born in places we wouldn’t be caught dead, who never go to the circus, who live in an X-rated world. We pray for children who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions, who sleep with the dog and bury goldfish, who give hugs in a hurry and forget their lunch money, who cover themselves with Band-Aids and sing off-key, who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink, who slurp their soup. And we pray for those who never get dessert, who watch their parents watch them die, who have no safe blanket to drag behind, who can’t find any bread to steal, who don’...

Most of the problems that today’s youth in western countries facing is due to the fact that their moms had very little time to spend with them. Parents of these teenagers; who are now in their 40’s & 50’s; migrated to these countries with golden dreams in their hearts but with absolutely nothing in their hands except their hard-earned professional degrees. They put them to good use by getting into professions. But how about the most noble profession called ‘mothering’. Most of the Sikh mothers, I know of, are working mothers. As much as they want to, they can’t afford to leave their jobs, their children spend 40-50 hours a week in child-care or with baby-sitters, who can’t replace a mother’s role in a child’s life. The cost of quitting is probably too high for those who are first generation abroad and do not want to be financial burden on their children in their old age. More than often, guilt - that insidious snake - likes to slither up the backs of such moms who want to be home...

It was a wonderful Saturday at IGS School just before we closed for summer; while children spent decorating pieces of quilt with their thoughts and ideas on “Why am I proud to be a Sikh?”; but it was not so pleasant for a Sikh mother who was all worried about her 14 year old son, who insisted that he wanted to wear ear rings along with heavy duty ‘kara’. My heart goes out to that mom as well as her not-so-young kid; it's not easy being 14 no matter where you live, or who your parents are! It is even more challenging when you are the ambassador of Sikh faith. Being 14 is a difficult transition from being a ‘boy’ to becoming a man; it is the time when kids feel that they must "fit in" with the crowd. Wearing earrings is a recent trend. In early sixties, Americans believed that it was practice of backward and uncultured people; but fashion has taken its toll; now all women; young or old, are seen wearing earrings. The size and design of the rings have no limits. The earrings...