Giving is our way of getting by in the world. Many of us think –“if I give; the others will like me. Better yet, they may even come to need me. Then I won't be so alone in the world.” Giving becomes a kind of haggle to belong; a proffer for love, rather than an expression of it. This kind of giving does not allow for egoism of any kind, and yet it is excessively egotistic.
Selfishness is vigorous when one knows one’s limits, and sets those limits; meaning prioritizing self-care over caring for others. It insists that you express your feelings, even when it is inconvenient to others. It includes the ability to rest when tired, and to ask for what you want and need, when you want and need it. It is the healthy expression of power. By doing so, we identify the course we take, making it much easier for the blessings of life to come to us.
A Beginning Reflection: This series of posts begins with a search to understand how our family changed and, eventually, broke under the pressures of life and circumstance. Writing it is not an attempt to assign blame or fix the past; those are not entirely ours to control. The series title, ਹਭੇ ਸਾਕ ਕੂੜਾਵੇ ਡਿਠੇ ਤਉ ਪਲੈ ਤੈਡੈ ਲਾਗੀ, comes from Gurbani and can be understood as: “ I have seen that all relationships (worldly attachments) are false; therefore, I have grasped the hem of Your robe, O Lord. ” This truth frames the exploration in these posts. It does not remove the hurt, but it offers a way to witness events honestly while staying rooted in something larger than ourselves. In sharing these experiences, I hope to explore not just what went wrong, but also what these moments can teach about love, loss, acceptance, and the slow work of finding peace within. March 2020 Content warning: family conflict, emotional stress, pandemic trauma Privacy Disclaimer: Some identifying de...
Comments