GOODBYE, SUPER MOM

I have exhibited super powers from an early age, when I had to compete with three older brothers. Determined to leap tall obstacles in a single bound; I did manage to rack up national scholarship beginning high school until I graduated with Master’s Degree in Science. I grabbed my degree and tunneled into my career. Followed again my brothers to US, established my career & life in pardes. I married man of my choice as opposed to arranged marriage for Punjabi girls. Before we celebrated our first wedding anniversary I birthed a baby boy without fear, because if anybody could make the Super Mom thing work, it was me.

…………………………..And that’s when all the wheels fell off my steam engine. Children are energy consuming creatures, they can suck every last tad of energy you’ve got and leave you in a pile on the floor. It’s not their fault, of course. If they were all we had to do, it would still be a full-time job. But as any Joker will tell you, most women are playing more than one hand at a time.

Convinced with my organizing skills, I figured I would simply ease my new little one, Harji, into my agenda. It wasn’t long, however, before I learned a different universal truth – babies don’t like scheduled events. As you can imagine, I cried a lot during those first parenting years. After Harji’s sister, Sukhmani, arrived, there were times we all three would blubber like babies. When Sukhmani turned two and baby Harjap came along, I finally threw my Day timer against the wall. I no longer desired a lifestyle that moved like a speeding bullet…….so I wanted to be full-time mommy.

Finally, my dream is coming true and I am counting days at my work, cleaning up computer, cleaning up my desk drawers, dusting files that were piled for more than a decade in the drawer above my head. I wish to make my presence at home wonderful for every one at home, including me. Since I have cleared my schedule, I have a chance to rest up and concentrate on my family. My husband is thrilled with the thoughts of having me around more, and the kids are glowing with adoration for a mom who finally will have time for them free of excuses.

I promise I will not let my old enemy weasel his way back into my household. I refuse to be Super Stay-at-Home Mom, perfect wife, perfect mother, and perfect volunteer, perfect all-around person. Since I will no longer be heading to the office everyday, does not mean that I will have all this spare time. I will not work like a dog, just like I had to since I was employed outside the home.
If I forget this promise of mine to myself, I will have only one thing to blame - my wicked alter-ego, that has been feeding me this list of must-do’s. In turn it is - Me.

……….But it is not me only; I have seen every mother doing the same what I did whether she is working in home or outside home. I have learnt from my own flight down Misery Lane; that a lot of the striving comes because we’re unsure of who we are or where we’re going. So we rush from project to project until we wear out, never truly accomplishing anything of value. When I look at the Sikh History and see how Gurus & great Sikhs of those times lived their everyday lives, I’m amazed at how applicable their messages are to my own routine. I’m a sturdy gal, and it probably took longer for me to get His message than most, but I finally unfastened my cape and let it fall to the ground. I’ve got a new veil draped around my shoulders now, one that encourages me to make choices based on Guru’s example, not a demanding schedule. I want to walk humbly with my SatGuru. But from now on, I’m not going to obsess over it and will let hrIPul AjImYN ] rzwiek XkInYN ] The Perfect Friend and Surest Provider of Sustenance – Waheguru Ji lead the way.