THEN and NOW.....
........so I took the plunge exactly 11 months ago. I remember those days like it was yesterday. I quit my career of 15 years and accepted the world's most splendid full-time job. While beginning his farewell speech, CIO said "A person should only do what he/she likes the most and here we have Ms. Kaur who made her choice". I was not so sure if I made a choice or I ran out of options to continue to juggle through two full-time jobs. I said good-bye to all with tears, broad smiles, hugs and promises to stay in touch. It was beginning of June 2007, children were getting out of school for summer and here I was ready to welcome them home.
The beginning of my new job (Stay-at-home mom) was just like my first real job; enthusiastic, smashed with happiness and daily accomplishments. Just as in my then job, I often worked in my dreams through out night to figure out a new logic for my project and in the morning ran to work to put it in and feel my heart swell with pride when it worked; here in my this job I did something similar. I had made schedule for every thing that I have been setting aside due to my work. Children were as excited and they learnt all what I had to teach with equal fervor ...so in nutshell we had a ball through out summer.
Three months went fast, came along September, children were off to school, hubby went to work as usual and here I was left alone at home.......no where to go, no project list to start with, no schedule to follow. My house was mess, but that is not the job I did. It was house keeper's job who I did not have any more. It was 'reality check' time.I took refuge in front of computer, began to play with numbers to figure out our budget. To my surprise, we needed a big shift in our life style to make the things work for us. Well, that was the beginning of my withdrawal symptoms from my career. There were days when I simply wished to be in the quietness of my cubicle and then there were days when I wanted to quit this new job. I knew I could not be fired from this job as my new boss is a saint, so he put up with my 'not-so-good' performance for many months until one day when he gave me green signal to look for part-time job to fill in my 9am-1pm hours and fill my idle mind with the world's problems. He was so right in doing so, I soon found out that I was dreaming and I need these hours for my benefit and do justice to my this new job.
So spring followed the fall and we are near summer again or should I say, summer is already here. With all this I have successfully completed my probationary time in my new job and that makes me my kid's mom and my husband's girl-friend. Children are as happy as they can be. I can't begin to count their accomplishments of this year. I definitely would not dare to share their after-school activities that make me so tired that I look forward to my 4-5 idle hours of next morning to recuperate myself. My house is not a mess any more; we have learnt to live within our budget and always leaning on Waheguru ji who is The Provider for all.
My daughter's 6th grade teacher was praising my daughter's progress in this year. When I shared my secret with her, she told me to spread the word. So here it is for the moms/parents who wonder why they have to make this tough choice -
For you: Children are Waheguru's blessing, watching them grow is miraculous. You'll know your child better than anyone else. My chidlren in their teens often ask me personal questions. While I answer them so carefully, I often wonder what a child-care provider might have answered to that; had I not been there?
For your Chidlren: Having mommy first to roll out of bed every morning, ready for duty is a cozy setup for the children. Even the sweetest sitter can't replace that. There are no shifting gears in the morning, no daily anxiety if things are ready before mom leaves for the office, no confusing inconsistencies in routine. Children feel secure and happy when they know in their hearts that they have mommy to count on any time of the day.
Most importantly for your marriage: You and your spouse won't butt heads over whose turn it is to miss work when a child is running fever. And having all day to do chores and errands means that when he comes home, you can be off-duty, too.
The beginning of my new job (Stay-at-home mom) was just like my first real job; enthusiastic, smashed with happiness and daily accomplishments. Just as in my then job, I often worked in my dreams through out night to figure out a new logic for my project and in the morning ran to work to put it in and feel my heart swell with pride when it worked; here in my this job I did something similar. I had made schedule for every thing that I have been setting aside due to my work. Children were as excited and they learnt all what I had to teach with equal fervor ...so in nutshell we had a ball through out summer.
Three months went fast, came along September, children were off to school, hubby went to work as usual and here I was left alone at home.......no where to go, no project list to start with, no schedule to follow. My house was mess, but that is not the job I did. It was house keeper's job who I did not have any more. It was 'reality check' time.I took refuge in front of computer, began to play with numbers to figure out our budget. To my surprise, we needed a big shift in our life style to make the things work for us. Well, that was the beginning of my withdrawal symptoms from my career. There were days when I simply wished to be in the quietness of my cubicle and then there were days when I wanted to quit this new job. I knew I could not be fired from this job as my new boss is a saint, so he put up with my 'not-so-good' performance for many months until one day when he gave me green signal to look for part-time job to fill in my 9am-1pm hours and fill my idle mind with the world's problems. He was so right in doing so, I soon found out that I was dreaming and I need these hours for my benefit and do justice to my this new job.
So spring followed the fall and we are near summer again or should I say, summer is already here. With all this I have successfully completed my probationary time in my new job and that makes me my kid's mom and my husband's girl-friend. Children are as happy as they can be. I can't begin to count their accomplishments of this year. I definitely would not dare to share their after-school activities that make me so tired that I look forward to my 4-5 idle hours of next morning to recuperate myself. My house is not a mess any more; we have learnt to live within our budget and always leaning on Waheguru ji who is The Provider for all.
My daughter's 6th grade teacher was praising my daughter's progress in this year. When I shared my secret with her, she told me to spread the word. So here it is for the moms/parents who wonder why they have to make this tough choice -
For you: Children are Waheguru's blessing, watching them grow is miraculous. You'll know your child better than anyone else. My chidlren in their teens often ask me personal questions. While I answer them so carefully, I often wonder what a child-care provider might have answered to that; had I not been there?
For your Chidlren: Having mommy first to roll out of bed every morning, ready for duty is a cozy setup for the children. Even the sweetest sitter can't replace that. There are no shifting gears in the morning, no daily anxiety if things are ready before mom leaves for the office, no confusing inconsistencies in routine. Children feel secure and happy when they know in their hearts that they have mommy to count on any time of the day.
Most importantly for your marriage: You and your spouse won't butt heads over whose turn it is to miss work when a child is running fever. And having all day to do chores and errands means that when he comes home, you can be off-duty, too.
Labels: Parenting, stay-at-home
posted by Singhni at 12:55 PM
5 Comments:
waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh!
I hope you and your family are enjoying your new job.
Its good to read your blog again. I had missed your vaisakhi post so i'll read that too.
Gurfateh to everyone!
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sony Tv has new show about a mother ... it has its usual desi drama in it ... but I think the show is absolutely true about plight of stay at home mothers and wives.
The soap is named sujata. I don't know if you watch sony.
Waheguru ji ka khalsa
Waheguru ji ki Fateh
Thank you for taking the time to read my short 'experience'. It is a blessing to be able to spend time with your own children and pass on your family values before society imprints their minds permanently.
I do not watch TV on shows on regular basis, but came across the one you mentioned, once or twice. From those couple of episodes I observed that it takes two (both parents) to raise the children with values that any parent can be proud of. Mutual respect and love between parents teaches them to respect their parents and in turn respect the authority anywhere. We all know that 'respect for authority' is missing quickly in our society.
Guru Raakha!
P:)
As someone said 'if you love what you do, you dont have to work all your life'
Reemas,
PrivateMarriage.com
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